Articles
Imaginary Enemies
It’s cute when children have imaginary friends. In reveals a precious desire to connect with others and share experiences. These make-believe buddies follow them everywhere, but no need to panic; it’s a good phase. In fact, playing along and asking questions about their fictional fellows can help you learn more about your child’s interests and secrets. Plus, research shows most children know they’re not real anyway. By time they’re adults, they’ll have long outgrown imaginary friends. Tragically, many adults enter a new phase: now they have imaginary enemies.
“When Saul saw and knew that the LORD was with David, and that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him, then Saul was even more afraid of David. Thus Saul was David’s enemy continually.” (1 Samuel 18:28-29). David was Saul’s imaginary enemy! In Saul’s mind, David followed him around everywhere, constantly sabotaging and undermining his kingship, creeping ever closer to usurping the throne. Everything David did threatened Saul; everything David said was a challenge and a game of one-upmanship. The irony? David wasn’t Saul’s enemy at all! David soothed Saul’s spirit by playing him beautiful music (1 Sam. 16), he defeated Goliath to give Saul victory over the Israelites (1 Sam. 17), he became commander of Saul’s army to do his bidding (1 Sam. 18), and he took Saul’s daughter Michal as his wife, but not as a power play. David didn’t even think he was worthy of such a marriage: “Is it trivial in your sight to become the king’s son-in-law, since I am a poor man and lightly esteemed?” (1 Sam. 18:23). Everything David did was for Saul’s benefit, yet because of jealousy, he re-interpreted David’s actions, made him his imaginary enemy, and it drove him mad.
Adults make imaginary enemies all the time. Jealousy leads to comparison, which leads to suspecting people’s motives the way Saul suspected David’s. Anger over past hurt leads to distrusting others because we’re certain they’re out to hurt us too. Fear makes the whole world our imaginary enemy and we can hardly make it out the front door. Shame makes ourselves our imaginary enemy, so that everything we say and do disappoints us and reminds us how we don’t measure up. Bitterness and lack of understanding make our spouse our imaginary enemy, thinking they’re purposely trying to annoy us and do everything they can to make our lives miserable. Lust and greed make God our imaginary enemy, thinking He’s just trying to take away our fun with all His rules. Pride makes God our imaginary enemy too, thinking, “How dare He put me through all this suffering!” God’s Word is clear: sometimes we really do have enemies in life, and we need to love them (Matt. 5:44). Other times our enemies are just imagined. In those cases, the ultimate goal is to wake up and realize they’re not real. In the meantime, we’ll need to love our imaginary enemies too.
