Articles
What Children Believe About Themselves
What Children Believe About Themselves
“Immediately coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opening, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon Him; and a voice came out of the heavens: ‘You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased.” (Mark 1:10-11). Children believe about themselves what they think their parents believe about them. Recently, a man played a joke on his 5 year old daughter. It was all in good fun, but he pretended she was invisible. “Jenny? Where are you?” — “I’m right here,” she said. “Jenny? Where are you?” “I’m right here in front of you,” she repeated. When he brought his friend in on it, he asked him, “Have you seen Jenny?” Jenny turned to look at his friend to see what he’d say. She was waiting for him to reassure her dad she wasn’t invisible. But when the friend said he couldn’t see her either, the game wasn’t funny anymore. Jenny was distraught and started crying. Why? Because she believed what she thought her dad believed about her; for a moment, she believed she was actually invisible.
Children don’t believe about themselves what their parents believe about them; they believe about themselves what they think their parents believe about them. Most parents, when asked, would say, “I love my children! They’re everything to me!” The question is, “Do the children know that’s what they believe about them?” Parents might say, “I love my children!” but they rarely, if ever, verbalize that to their children the way God verbalized it to Jesus in Mark 1:11. In the mid 1900’s, “I love you” was a nearly non-existent phrase from fathers to their sons. So the father loves the son, but the son isn’t sure he really does, so the son isn’t sure he’s lovable. Parents may believe their children are the most important thing in the world, then they get a divorce, and now the children believe they’re unimportant.
Parents, however you really feel about your children, make sure to communicate that loudly and clearly to them with your words and actions. Don’t assume they know just because you put a roof over their heads and food on the table. Spend time with them, be there for them, verbally express your love for them, make them feel safe by setting rules and boundaries for their lives, “fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4). In doing so, you’re setting them up to receive the love of the Lord when they come of age. Sadly, by the actions of parents, so many children today grow up believing they’re invisible, unimportant, and unworthy of love. So when God says to them, “You’re not invisible, you’re so important and worthy of love that I sent my Son Jesus to die for you,” they struggle to believe it because it doesn’t match their self-belief. Instead, emulate God’s parental love so they’ll learn early to believe about themselves what God believes about them.
