Articles
Family Survival Guide
Family Survival Guide
Jesus only marveled twice in Scripture. Once when He saw the belief of a centurion and once when He saw the unbelief of His own people. When His own people rejected Him, He said, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household.” (Mark 6:4). If you’re continually rejected by your own relatives for the holidays, here are some ways to survive with your faith and sanity intact.
1) Don’t get in the time machine. Sometimes our families freeze us in time. When the Nazarenes see Jesus, they ask, “Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? Are not His sisters here with us? And they took offense at Him.” (Mark 6:3). They couldn’t accept Jesus in the present because they trapped Him in the past. “This is little Jesus! We remember Him as a toddler learning to speak and a teenager learning to shape wood, and now He’s telling us what to do?” At Christmas time, your mom may talk to you like you’re a child. Your dad may tell you how to raise your children and how you need to watch your weight. Your brother may pick on your faults so he can feel like the favorite. If you get in that time machine, you’ll revert back to childhood behavior. Instead, go look in a mirror and remind yourself you’re an adult now. You’ve “left father and mother” (Gen. 2:24). You can make your own decisions, use your words to set healthy boundaries, and refuse to be broken by sibling psychological warfare.
2) Don’t expect them to change. We should certainly try to influence and teach our families about the Lord, but not even Jesus could change His family members! If you go in expecting to change them and they don’t, it’ll only frustrate you and strain your relationships even more. Jesus didn’t try to force His family to change. He acknowledged His responsibility to teach and influence them, but He left them the freedom to make their own choices. It’s not your job to fix anyone, to make anyone happy, or to make anyone Christians.
3) Don’t play the comparison game. Some siblings love to brag about their accomplishments and it may seem like the more they talk about their success, the more you feel like a failure. Don’t play that game. You’re an adult now, remember? Instead, why not congratulate that sibling and rejoice with them in their success? (cf. James 3:16)
4) Don’t let your family define you. After Jesus was rejected, “He wondered at their unbelief. And He was going around the villages teaching.” (Mark 6:6). He kept right on teaching because He knew who He was and what He came to do. He didn’t let His earthly family define Him. He let His Father in Heaven define Him. If we’ll do the same, we’ll survive many holidays to come in our hometown.
